Be Brave: Walk Away
Panta rhei.
Nothing is static. People change, jobs change, dynamics change. As active agents, we affect the environment around us, and in turn, it affects us.
Sometimes the environment becomes toxic. It is not a single factor that affects it, it's multiple small changes with a ripple effect.
Ideally, one would pick those little changes early on, and try to act upon them, either by neutralising them or by removing herself from the situation.
I was late. Again. (No surprises there.)
I didn't pay attention to the small changes around me, limiting my concentration on the tasks at hand and ignoring the bigger picture.
In this case, the bigger picture was a textbook definition of a misfit.
I was changing at a rapid pace, learning and doing various things on the side. Elated by hitting small milestones such as writing my first script, spinning up my first server, and meeting cool people at IT events, I missed the resentment building around me.
I ignored the fact that I was outgrowing my job at a fast pace, and that the environment didn't allow for that growth. I took on responsibilities that were a product of my own initiative. I didn't fully consider the consequences.
How the situation developed?
The saying goes "I will make you an offer you cannot refuse." In my case, it was "I received an offer that I could not accept". The Choices:
Scenario 1: Accept an offer that goes against everything I was trying to achieve. I had to sign a document that essentially said 'Your value for the past 2 years hasn't changed at all. We know you do a lot of things, but we won't acknowledge them in any form, apart from a salary increase. Know your place in our very hierarchical structure where you don't even fit.'
Scenario 2: Be brave. Walk away. Decline the offer and find something better.
I took the 'easy' way and walked out.
I believe I can do more. I know my skills are more valuable in use than ignored. I know I can find a team that will challenge me and let me grow with them, letting me pull my own weight. I know my passion for IT and my dedication to learning new technologies are more important than my lack of formal Computer Science education. I know my social science background is a great addition for any high functioning and diverse team.
In the short term, I have taken a massive risk. I lost the security of a full-time job to pursue a career. I chose a lonely road that I need to walk alone until I find the right people, my new tribe.
Ultimately, I put a bet on me. I will make sure it is a winning bet.
Nothing is static. People change, jobs change, dynamics change. As active agents, we affect the environment around us, and in turn, it affects us.
Sometimes the environment becomes toxic. It is not a single factor that affects it, it's multiple small changes with a ripple effect.Ideally, one would pick those little changes early on, and try to act upon them, either by neutralising them or by removing herself from the situation.
I was late. Again. (No surprises there.)
I didn't pay attention to the small changes around me, limiting my concentration on the tasks at hand and ignoring the bigger picture.
In this case, the bigger picture was a textbook definition of a misfit.
I was changing at a rapid pace, learning and doing various things on the side. Elated by hitting small milestones such as writing my first script, spinning up my first server, and meeting cool people at IT events, I missed the resentment building around me.
I ignored the fact that I was outgrowing my job at a fast pace, and that the environment didn't allow for that growth. I took on responsibilities that were a product of my own initiative. I didn't fully consider the consequences.
How the situation developed?
The saying goes "I will make you an offer you cannot refuse." In my case, it was "I received an offer that I could not accept". The Choices:
Scenario 1: Accept an offer that goes against everything I was trying to achieve. I had to sign a document that essentially said 'Your value for the past 2 years hasn't changed at all. We know you do a lot of things, but we won't acknowledge them in any form, apart from a salary increase. Know your place in our very hierarchical structure where you don't even fit.'
Scenario 2: Be brave. Walk away. Decline the offer and find something better.
I took the 'easy' way and walked out.
I believe I can do more. I know my skills are more valuable in use than ignored. I know I can find a team that will challenge me and let me grow with them, letting me pull my own weight. I know my passion for IT and my dedication to learning new technologies are more important than my lack of formal Computer Science education. I know my social science background is a great addition for any high functioning and diverse team.
In the short term, I have taken a massive risk. I lost the security of a full-time job to pursue a career. I chose a lonely road that I need to walk alone until I find the right people, my new tribe.
Ultimately, I put a bet on me. I will make sure it is a winning bet.